mark: what's with everyone in the olympics getting caught doping? how can they live with themselves, having everyone think they are olympians when really they are cheating
me: i guess they just figure everyone does it. everybody cheats. i mean, remember that bobsled team that the coach got caught putting weights in the front of the sled, or something like that?
mark: that was cool runnings.
mark: did you know rainn wilson has a podcast?
me: who is rainn wilson?
mark: dwight. from the office. he writes about books and like, people who write books.
me: you mean authors.
me: what's wrong? (mark has been trying to write a long paper for a few hours and he looks frustrated.)
mark: i'm not smart. i'm just not smart. do you think i'm smart?
me: well....you're well-rounded.
mark: so you're saying i'm fat.
(next scene: i am laying on the couch because i accidentally fell asleep in the middle of the day and slept for 2 hours. mark comes bursting inside the house and jumps down on top of me on the couch. so he is giving me zero time to ease into waking up.)
me: ugh...go awaay...you're ruining my shalom.
mark: your shalom?
me: yes- my shalom. my peace. i had peace all around me until you came in here.
(keep in mind i have just been sleeping and my mascara is now smudged underneath my eyes and my hair is frizzy and dented.)
mark: you sure don't look like shalom.
6 comments:
4 out of 4 laughs. :)
and who knew cool runnings wasn't based on a true story???
OH MY GOOOOOOOSH could you be any funnier. blogs like this are why i voted for denise as the best blogger in your little survey on the side. sorry mark.
and here i thought cool runnings was a documentary!
this is a dream blog and this why we keep coming back everyday to have a dose of denise.
oh my gosh. love it d, you are hilarious :)
this is unbelievable. "you're ruining my shalom" please please start a reality show.
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