me and mark have had a few funny conversations lately. i think i've told some of you about them, but for the others, here's what we've been talking about lately:

mark: you are really one in a billion, you know that?

me: thanks. what are you gonna do if i die?

mark: uhh, probably wait a few months and then start looking

me: a few months?? 

mark: a few...years?

me: i thought you said i was one in a billion

mark: yeah, that means there are like 6 or 7 other girls just like you

(next scene. we are driving. mark is driving slow as usual.)

me: mark, why are you going five under?

mark: i'm trying to go the speed limit

me: don't worry about the speed limit, just drive.

mark: that's the wrong advice. i know the wrong advice when i see it, and that's it.

the next one is actually me and emurr.

me: i think i want to work in an orphanage, like in haiti or guatemala or something. but i've never worked in an orphanage, so i don't know what it's really like or if i'd be good at it.

emurr: you know there's an orphanage in charlotte

me: an orphanage?

emurr: yeah, a real, live orphanage

me: i think they're called children's homes

emurr: whatever, there's one in charlotte.

also, here's a story from mark's office. they apparently hired a guy to do mark's job before they hired him but the other guy didn't work out. mark's co-workers said the kid would like disappear right before meetings and just not show up to stuff. so they started calling him waldo, as in "where's waldo". but they just started calling him that and he would be like, why are you guys calling me waldo, and they'd just laugh and say, "cause that's your name!" one day they actually taped a where's waldo poster to the door of his office. these guys are like 50s-60s. so needless to say, waldo was fired and mark was hired. and the bar was not set too high. their nickname for mark is ned, as in ned flanders, the crazy neighbor in the simpsons. so we were at a knights baseball game with mark's company this weekend and they kept calling him ned all night. well when we were leaving, one of the guy's wife said, bye, nice to meet you ned. and her husband started dying laughing and he was like, no honey, that's just his name at the office. his real name's mark. we just call him ned. she goes "oh." i think she had never seen the simpsons and it did not make any sense to her why they'd call him that.