sky mall

so, i was recently on a trip in which i spent 14 hours getting from charlotte, nc to providence, ri. during part of that time i sat on the plane out on the runway for an hour or so. i didn't have anything with me to read so i ended up reading Sky Mall for about two hours. i'm sure many of you are familiar with sky mall. it is a catalogue of endless, ridiculous items that you can purchase right there, while you're on the plane. if you're not familiar with it, picture oriental trading company meets brookstone meets the word of faith healing movement.

i will mention just two items that i read about in sky mall. the first, and most appalling, was a hooded sweatshirt. but first a little background information for the product- according to the advertisers, it has been proven that positive words can alter the consistency of water. Therefore, if you were to wear a sweatshirt with positive words all over the INSIDE of the sweatshirt, it would alter the consistency of the water inside you, and you, being 2/3 water, could become a completely different person. the sweatshirt was selling for $79.99. i cringe to think of anyone actually purchasing this and i am basically infuriated at the idiots selling it.

#2 from sky mall: a personal size microwave, complete with a handle, that you can carry with you everywhere you go. do you ever want to reheat your coffee or pop a bag of popcorn, but don't want to get up from your desk to do it? now you don't have to! oh wow. i think the advertisement should've read, do you hate people and want to avoid them at all costs, so much so that you'd rather not go to the breakroom to reheat your coffee on the off chance that you'd run into someone? are you too lazy to get up from your desk for five seconds? this product is for you. (okay that might be a little harsh, i know some of you, including my brother in law Ryan, are probably actually interested in the personal microwave. but still. come on.)

to the makers of sky mall: you are ridiculous.